A Record Year for Rainfall
by Newland Archer
Summary: Bruce Wayne/OFC, Harvey Dent/OFC. Bruce's girlfriend is pretty messed up, self-esteem wise and such and can't seem to stick to one man. She loves Bruce, but can't remain faithful and ends up cheating on him with Harvey Dent. What will happen? Oh My.
1. Before the Fall

_Why can't I hold on to anything that's good? _I asked myself this question more and more often as I only proceeded to hurt myself, and everyone else around me. Bruce _knew _he was far too good for me. He knew I was foolish and self-destructive. He watched me fuck every relationship I'd even been to hell. So, why would he set himself up for the heartbreak and anguish I'd inevitably cause him? For some misguided reason, he loved me. He believed that I could turn my life around, and at first, I did too. I told myself this would be different; I wouldn't cheat on Bruce, I wouldn't lie to him, and I would love him the way he deserved to be loved.

I did at first. I stopped myself from hurting everyone, although, it was only a matter of time before I went back to my good old self. It was only a matter of time before I got wasted and slept with some guy I didn't even know like I always did when I had a man who loved me for me in my life. What can I say? Breaking hearts seemed to be the only talent I had, and it was all I'd ever have.

My problem was that I was addicted to attention. If I felt I wasn't getting enough attention, I'd do _anything _to get the attention I wanted. Bruce did give me attention, but I still wanted more; I'm beyond selfish also. When I wanted the attention most, that was when I met him. That was when I met the man that would give me anything I wanted. It was because of Bruce I met him in the first place. If I were any more fucked up, I'd say he was the whole reason I started having an affair with Harvey Dent. He didn't have to throw him some stupid party for who knows why. I was the only one to blame though. I'm the one that kissed him first; I'm the one that didn't even try to stop it when it went much further than a simple kiss. I could have stopped it; I shouldn't have ever even thought about kissing him when I was in a relationship with someone else, but I did. Did I regret it? Of course I did, but was I going to do anything about it? Probably not.

I felt like the worst person in the world for saying this, but everything had gotten to the point where I couldn't wait for Bruce to leave the house so I could call Harvey up and I could continue to live my secret life. Little did I know, that would become even harder as of today.

"I think I'll stay home since it's been a year since we've been together," Bruce said from behind me, and seemingly out of nowhere. It was our one-year anniversary today? I had forgotten it entirely. I'm sure that the fact that I've been seeing another man for half that time didn't really help me much.

"I can't believe it's been that long already," I said forcing a smile. I'd becoming increasingly deceptive; I wanted Bruce to be happy even though I was fucking with his heart with every last breath I'd taken for the past six months.

Bruce smiled at me, and he kissed my cheek. I'd never seen him this happy before. Why couldn't I love him, and only him? It's not like Bruce ignored me or anything. He always made time for me. If he even thought I was upset by something, he was there for me. He loved me; he always had time to love me. I felt like an even worse person now. How could I do this to him? The façade I'd been putting on for six months was falling apart. I couldn't do this anymore. Tears stung at my gray-blue eyes as all I could think of what I was doing to not only Bruce, but myself and Harvey. For the first time, I was actually in love with the other guy I was with. I loved Harvey just as much as I loved Bruce.

Apparently Bruce had been talking and I hadn't noticed until he said the four words that every woman in the world would be happy to hear but me. "Will you marry me?"

I stared at him in shock, and all I felt was an overwhelming urge to run. I wasn't going to be one of those girls who say yes when their boyfriend asks them to marry him even though they fully intend to keep seeing another man. Instead, I'd be the coward that was 'too scared to commit to anything long-term.' Hey, it'd worked before, why wouldn't it work now? The only reason it failed the first time I tried it was because he found out about my affair from one of his friends. Tears ran down my cheeks as I stood up and ran out the door as fast as I could. I pounded on Harvey's door, hoping he was home. He had to be home. I didn't walk all this way for him not to be home.  
"What's wrong, Stef?" Harvey asked, noting the tears now pouring down my cheeks.

"He proposed to me. I don't know what to do, I left. He can't find out about us, I can't marry him. It would-"

"Why didn't you tell him? He's going to figure it out someday, why not just tell him?"

"How could you ask that? We've kept this up for a half year without anyone knowing, why should I blow it now?"

"Did you ever think I might want you to myself?"


	2. Does it Always Look This Gray?

I was planning on going back to Bruce sometime that night, but I never did. I stayed there with Harvey. I committed to something; I committed to staying with the man I had feelings for, but didn't love fully. I never thought I'd actually stay with him, but how could I go running back to Bruce after what I did to him? I couldn't do that.

So, a year and a half passed. In that year and a half I'd contradicted myself in the biggest way possible. I got married to Harvey. I married him; I somehow managed to remain faithful to him despite cheating on Bruce, even though he truthfully loved me. I was pretty much a hypocritical bitch for doing that. No doubt Bruce knew Harvey and I got married; it was in the damn paper, it was on TV, and I'm sure it was somewhere on the internet. Everyone fucking knew. But, no one knew how I'd broken so many people's hearts before I came to this ending. No one knew the part about me and Bruce Wayne and how my relationship with Harvey had started. If they knew, would they treat me differently in the press? Would they gossip about me and give me the treatment I deserved? I hoped so.

No one was going to find out though. Harvey did everything he possibly could to protect me, physically and emotionally. He'd never let me do anything as stupid as what I wanted to do; what I _needed _to do to make things okay in my mind. I needed to set things right with Bruce. I was probably a year and half and one marriage far too late to apologize to him, but I had to do this. It'd been bothering me for a while now, and I couldn't push it out of my mind anymore.

My heart was racing as I raised my hand to knock on Bruce's door. I was so nervous; what if he hated me? Not that I didn't deserve for him to hate me, but I still preferred living in oblivion to these kinds of things. Maybe he wasn't home. Maybe I should just leave and continue to be a coward. I realized that I was too late once Bruce opened the door, though.

"What are you doing here, Stef?" Bruce asked. He was clearly confused as to why I was there, he looked like all the happiness and joy in his life had been taken from him. That both confused me, and made me feel like shit at the same time. It confused me because it'd been a whole year and a half, and he could have _any _woman he wanted, so why would he still be depressed over me? I felt like shit for obvious reasons. He was depressed and lonely because of my dumbass, nothing else.

"I just wanted to see how you're doing," I stuttered, my voice cracking due to nerves.

"Isn't it obvious? How did you think I'd be doing, Stefanie?" Bruce asked, raising his voice slightly.

"I thought you'd be doing better than this," I muttered.

"I loved you. I loved you so much, and you did this to me. How could you do it?"

"I think it'd only make things worse if I gave you a stupid excuse for why I did what I did. If it means anything to you, I feel awful for what I did. I-"

"Why did you do it, Stef?" Bruce asked calmly.

"You know I've never been able to stay faithful to anyone in my life before. I wanted this to be different, Bruce. I wanted to be able to give you what you deserved, but I couldn't. You're too good for me. Harvey's just right for me. He doesn't treat me like a Queen, but he also doesn't treat me like dirt on the ground. Don't you get it? I deserve to be treated like I'm just any other girl. I don't deserve to be treated like I'm special, because I'm not, I'm a complete and total fuck-up," I explained. I was surprised at Bruce's response. He put his arms around my waist, pulled me closer to him and kissed me. It wasn't a kiss that was meaningless either.

"You're wrong. Anyone who treats like you're an average person is stupid. You are special, you just make mistakes. Everyone does it. You made a mistake when you cheated on me and left, and I made a mistake when I just let you go like you were nothing. I should have fought for you. You wouldn't be married to him, you'd be with someone that treats you the way you should be," Bruce whispered, moving the hair that had fallen into my face away from it. Tears filled my eyes because all I could think about was what I'd thrown away, and how much I wanted it now.

"I have to go, Bruce," I said, but I didn't make any effort to move away from him.

He didn't say anything; he didn't need to. I was back to my good old self the second he kissed me. Nothing else mattered. It was like I'd forgotten that I was married completely. Bruce let me in the house, and I cheated on Harvey not once, but three times in the time I'd spent at Bruce's house. The worst part was that I didn't regret it at all. It felt right; I didn't feel like I was making some horrible mistake like I had before.

"Don't you have to go back to him?" Bruce asked once it got past midnight.

"I told him I was staying at a friend's house because they needed me," I mumbled.

"He probably believes you. I never could tell when you were lying to me," Bruce responded. I just forced a smile on my face, knowing that he would probably never trust me again, and I couldn't blame him for it.

"Did you believe me when I told you that I loved you?"

"I don't know."

"I meant it, Bruce. I didn't act like I did, but I really meant it," I whispered. I wasn't expecting him to give me another chance, I never did, but I wasn't sure what tonight meant to him. I know what it meant to me, but what did it mean to Bruce? Was he just trying to break me, and make me fuck the best chance I had at a long-lasting relationship to hell, or did he do it out of love?

"What did tonight mean to you, Bruce?" I asked after he didn't answer what I'd told him.

"What do you mean?" Bruce asked in response. I never really questioned anyone that gave me sex, and that let me use them to cheat on someone else because I was usually gone and living my real life with my real boyfriend.

"Why did you do it? You can't have feelings for me after what I did to you. Were you just trying to see that I'm still the whore that I was when we were together, or were you doing it because you have feelings for me?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Bruce asked. He seemed…mad to say the least.

"Just fucking answer my question, Bruce," I snapped.

"I think you should go back home. You can just tell him another one of your fucking brilliant lies," Bruce snapped back.

"I knew I meant nothing to you. Wouldn't it have been easier just to tell me that?" I asked as I left. I didn't pay any attention to Bruce as I left; I was far too upset with myself to notice anything he was doing. It was my fault really. I probably shouldn't have asked Bruce those questions, but I did, and now I was _sure _I'd lost him forever.

[A/N: Sorry this is such a long chapter. I meant to finish the whole story in two chapters, but it turns out I couldn't get it to work out that way.]


	3. It's Been a Record Year for Rainfall

I wasn't going to go home, how could I? I'd only done what I always did, but I was married this time. I made a promise to Harvey and to myself that I wouldn't cheat on him, but I did. I was stupid to think I could have changed because I got married. I was stupid to get married, I was stupid to start all this shit I'd been doing. I had to stop it, but I didn't know how I could even begin to stop.

I spent that night in some cheap, rundown hotel because I was a coward. I told a lie that I'd be with a friend that night, but I'd fucked things up with that 'friend'. Bruce was never going to be more than a memory that I'd never be able to escape no matter how long I managed to live, and after I told Harvey what happened tonight (_ if _I ever did), he would never want to see me again either. So, I had two options. One, never tell Harvey about what I'd done with Bruce and let the guilt fuck with my mind for the rest of my life, or, two, just end it all now; stop all the pain I'd been causing myself and everyone I claimed to care about-permanently. Right now, option number two sounded _perfect _to me. No one would ever be hurt by me again. I wouldn't be able to toy with anyone's emotions ever again. Harvey and Bruce could live perfectly normal lives without me to cause them harm with every last breath I took.

I was sure of what I was going to do now. All I needed to do was say goodbye to Bruce and Harvey. I could actually own up to all my mistakes now, I wouldn't have to live with the regret and guilt of what I'd done. What would it matter if Harvey hated my guts anymore? I'd be dead. I wouldn't know about it. Bruce already hated me, so it wouldn't matter if he hated me even more. He'd probably be happier if he knew I was dead and gone from his life.

The next morning, I left the hotel and I went home for the last time. I really shouldn't have cried over the whole thing since it was _my _choice, but the thought still brought tears to my eyes. People stared at me as I walked down the street, crying like a fool. No one asked if I was okay because I didn't deserve anyone to give a fuck if I was okay or not. I walked in the door, still crying, my cheeks stained with the makeup that all my tears had taken off my face.

"What's wrong, Stef?" Harvey asked; a look of overwhelming and wasted concern for me on his face.

"I'm sorry. It's not enough, it'll never be enough. I thought things would be different this time. They weren't. I fucking did it again, how can you care about me at all? Why would you do this to yourself? You know I'm weak. You know I'm nothing more than a whore," I rambled on, probably only making sense to myself and myself alone.

"What are you talking about?" Harvey asked. _Fucking knew it. _

"I cheated on you! Why would you fucking trust me?! I don't trust myself, why the fuck would you marry some girl that you knew was a whore to start with?!" I yelled, still crying. I wasn't at all mad at Harvey, but I was almost trying to make him hate me. I was trying to make what I was going to later on much easier on him.

"I can forgive you, Stef. Please just stop this. I'm worried about you," Harvey whispered as he kissed my cheek out of nothing but pity for me. I shook my head, and I gave him one last kiss. Hopefully he wouldn't remember as I was now years from now. Hopefully he'd remember our wedding day, and how happy he was. I smiled weakly at Harvey as I gave him my wedding ring.

"When you think of me, try and think of our wedding day, okay? Don't remember me how I am now. I'm so sorry I couldn't change who I was for you," I whispered in his ear before leaving to go and say goodbye to the person I'd see last in my life; Bruce.

--

Bruce opened the door to his house, and he stared at me like I was insane. He saw right through my fake smile. Of course, the fact that my eyes were bloodshot from crying so much didn't help me much.

"What's wrong, Stef?" Bruce asked, asking me the same question Harvey had asked me a while ago.

"I came to say goodbye, Bruce. I can't do this anymore. I can't hurt you, I can't hurt Harvey and I can't hurt myself. Don't tell yourself that I'll be coming back someday. There's no way I could undo what I'm going to do, there's no way I'd _want _to undo it," I said, tears forming in my eyes. I ignored the look of terror, fear and regret in Bruce's eyes and continued on with what I was saying. "I only wanted you to be happy. You will be happy now though. You get to watch me end my own life because I **know **that you won't even attempt to stop me, not after what I've done to you. Just know that the one thing I **never **lied about was the fact that I loved you," I said, a sick and twisted smile forming on my face.

"Stop, Stef, don't do this. Please, I'll help you stop. I'll help you change, don't do this. I need you, Stef, don't do this to me," Bruce said with tears rolling down his cheeks now.

"You've never cried before Bruce. Don't start now," I said as I took a small yet sharp knife from my purse.

"You've never been suicidal before Stef. Don't start now," Bruce said, almost mocking my last statement to him.

"I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you," I whispered as I, literally, broke my own heart by stabbing myself right through the heart, dying the way I'd deserved to die from day one. I felt tears hit my neck as I started fading away in what I assumed to be Bruce's arms. I felt his lips on mine, and the last thing I heard him say to me was 'I love you.' The whole thing was ironic because I thought he'd just let me die. I didn't think he'd say or do anything about it, and that I would die alone the way I should. I ended up dying in the arms of the one person I loved, and hurt, the most in my life, and I died to protect him, but I ended up hurting him more in the end. You've just _gotta _love me, don't you?

[I'm not a fan of the last sentence, but I really couldn't think of anything. I suck at endings. And, I also rarely write happy endings in any of my stories, so that's why this one ended the way it did.]


End file.
